Why I Haven’t Blogged For 6 Months

Okay. So the first thing I’m going to say is sorry. Sorry to anyone who has been waiting for me to post for 6 months and I haven’t. But let’s be honest. Most of you probably forgot you followed me or forgot I existed and I get that. I honestly don’t really know why I stopped blogging, because it brought me so much happiness. I’m going to try again. If you’re wondering where I have been, I’m going to tell you.

So basically I went through hell and back during the months of March, April, and May this year. As some of you who remember me may know, my mom was going through a tough battle with breast cancer, and we thought she had won, but of course it couldn’t be that easy. They found more cancer and she was in the hospital and I thought I was gonna have to do the rest of my growing up without a mom. There was a while where I lost hope and didn’t know how I could go on with my life again. I started to hate myself, I even thought about suicide. All of these things happening in my life were leading to very negative thoughts. And then a miracle happened. She started to get better, slowly, but it was happening. By the time summer started, she was back to being my mom again. I was so happy with my life, the world, and everything around me. It wasn’t until after those terrifying few months, when I really started to figure out who I was. That summer I became happy and confident with myself and I had some of the greatest moments of my life. Once school came back a few weeks ago, I started to lose confidence again. I felt ugly and unwanted and I just hated everything about school. I was having one of those times when you just get into a funk and can’t get out. I still feel this way, but I wanted to do something about, that’s why I opened up my laptop and started typing on my blof.

Now that I’m blogging again, I want to make sure I am completely 100% real with you guys and post what I want to post. I will most likely be posting “poems” I write or just anything to be honest. Comment down below and suggestions for me and just the fact that you read this far means the world to me. Xx

Moments.

Heyyy! Alright so today I’m going to talk about those moments. You know what I’m talking about, well okay maybe you don’t but that’s why I’m talking about them. So the next time they come around you know to cherish every second of that moment. Okay here we go. (sorry for the weird formatting)

Every once in a while, we have these moments.
You can’t explain them to a friend without sounding insane,
They are hard to even put into words.
You just get this feeling,
You just know,
You will never forget this moment.

Whether it’s silly talks with your friends,
Or deep chats with your best friend around a bonfire.
You remember every detail,
The wind whipping through your hair,
Or the song that was playing on the radio.
But if you try to hard to remember the moment,
It only makes the moment slowly crumble away.

Time is deceiving.
One moment you are having the time of your life,
And what feels like a millisecond later,
You are sitting alone in your room feeling depressed and lonely.
That’s why you hold onto those moments with everything you have.
Because soon enough,
You will have to let go.

Right before you die,
When your life flashes before your eyes.
You catch a slight glimpse of each of these moments.
The faint sound of laughter and music blasting.
And that’s what make you smile,
Right before its time to go.

Here’s to the moments.
The joke that turns into an eternity of laughter.
The laughter that turns time into good times.
The good times that turn into an endless smile.
The smile that makes you think of the amazing moments.
The moments that will inevitably turn into memories.
To stay with us forever,
In the back of our minds and the center of our hearts.

 

A Crush.

She was always there for everyone,
She helped everyone, she always had a smile on her face.
Always.
Everybody went to her for help,
They counted on her, looked up to her.
Everyone wanted to be her.
She seemed perfect on the outside.
Untouchable, Invincible, Unstoppable.
What nobody realized was.
While she was so busy being everyone’s anchor,
Nobody saw that she was drowning.

He was the class clown,
Everyone loved him, yet he had no close friends.
He was easygoing, light, as if he floated through life.
Intelligent, hilarious, attractive.
He was never the most popular but he could make you laugh until you cried.
They thought there was nothing wrong,
They were friends with him but they didn’t know him.
He was an open book but with so many secrets.
Nobody saw past his perfect face,
They would never see the scars he was trying so desperately to hide

Every day they would smile at each other in math class.
She caught him staring, he caught her.
It wasn’t a crush,
They saw past eachother’s cover.
They knew there was more, more to see than the perfect skin, hair, and clothes.
She wanted to know his stories,
He wanted to fix her struggles.
They both lied in their beds, thinking about each other.
They felt so close, yet they have barely spoken a dozen words to each other.
She couldn’t go a day without seeing him,
He tried to say something but all that came out was a clever joke.
She knew he liked her,
His heart beat a little faster at the thought of her.
They were close, but knew they couldn’t be together.
Not now, it wouldn’t work.
They had to wait, they couldn’t wait.
She could barely stand these silent conversations.
Yet even though they couldn’t be together,
He kept her afloat,
She opened him up.
He saved her, she saved him.
And it was only,
A Crush.

Okay so sorry for not blogging recently. I just haven’t had any
inspiration. But if you didn’t know this about me I really
want to be an author, so I have lots of book ideas. I write
them down like this so one day I can go back to this and write a
whole book about them. I decided I would type one up for you guys.
Tell me in the comments if you like it. I promise to do regular
posts soon once I get inspiration. Alright so byeee!

 

My Thoughts On the Blogospere

Heyyy!!! So I have had quite a few deep posts recently and I wanted to just have a little light-hearted chat with you guys. Also, apologies for my last post I was in quite a negative mood yesterday and I’ve been going through some things recently so yeah… sorry.

Anyways so I started my blog about a month ago just to try something new for the new year, and I had no idea I would have so many likes, comments, views, and followers. Right now I have 30 followers!!!  That is absolutely crazy! I know it might not seem like a lot to some of you with around 100 + followers, but the fact that even one person cares to read these random things I put on the internet is even hard for me to figure out. But that 30 people actually care to read my random thoughts! That insane! Also, the people on WordPress are so nice! So many people comment the kindest things on here. Every time someone comments “I love your blog so much!” or “This was such an amazing post” I literally feel like I am going to cry of happiness.

I love blogging  because I can literally say anything I want with no limits. I love that I can put something on the internet and literally anyone (with a computer) can read it. It is so cool that people from other countries read my blog posts. Actually, most of my followers are British! I just love British people so much! If I ever met a British person in real life I would probably instantly fall in love with them because of their adorable accent! (: Haha and I also have followers from India, Italy, Ireland, and even Netherlands! I want to go to India, Ireland and Italy sooooo bad!! To be honest I don’t know much about the Netherlands but it sounds cool! You guys are probably laughing at me right now. I don’t get to travel much okay! Haha (:

Yeah, so I really like this blogging thing. I think my friends can tell I have become so much happier after creating my blog. All of your positive comment are amazing and I love reading your posts. Every one of you is so amazing and I love you so much. I feel like I have gained 3o best friends. I am literally so glad I decided to start blogging and I will definetly continue to do it. Comment below any tips you have for me and what you want me to write about. You guys are amazing and beautiful and awesome and okay I need to stop now. Byee!!

 

 

 

 

 

Why?

Why do I feel so broken? Why do I feel like every piece of me is shattering from the inside out? Why have I lost all motivation to do anything? Why does it take every ounce of my strength to take one step towards the kitchen because I am starving? Why is everything in my life breaking? Why does it feel like every time I lay my hands on something it will turn in to a puddle? Why is there this pit in my stomach that I can’t figure out what it is? Why does it feel like I’m counting down the days for something I can’t figure out? Why am I so angry? Why can’t I figure out what I am angry at? Why am I turning into this monster, this beast? Why are there tears in my eyes and the taste of vomit in my mouth? Why can’t I figure out what’s wrong with me? Why have I shattered into a million pieces laid out on the ground all around me and I can’t pick them up and nobody can hear my screams? Why am I waiting for someone to fix me?……..

Why isn’t anyone fixing me?

Life.

Heyy! How’s it going? I hope you have had an amazing week and I am very excited about this post for some reason. This is my second post like this and I like blogging like this because I want to be an author when I am older. Tell me in the comments if you like this better, and be honest. Okay anyway let’s get on to the post.

Life.
Life is strange.
Life will abuse you and hurt you and tear you to shreds
Life will kill.
Life will take your loved ones from you and you can never see them again.
Life is terrible.
Life will make you suffer.
Life is unfair and unjust and life will never give you what you want.
At some point you have to realize,
Life is a jerk
And you have to look Life right in the eyes and say,
“Screw you”
Because Life is crazy.
Life can’t be controlled.
Life is all over the place, everywhere, all at once.
Life surrounds you and pulls you in and comforts you only to rip you apart once again.
But you know what to do this time.
You’ve learned from your mistakes.
So you took Life by the horns and steered it in the direction you want to go.
And you didn’t listen to screaming and crying and sorrow behind you.
But looked at the road ahead.
And at the end of that road you saw a future.
A future you want.
A future you deserved.
And Life was the only reason you got there.
Yes, the same Life that punched you and kicked you and tore you apart.
But you didn’t listen.
You didn’t worry about the past.
You got past the tears and anger and moved on.
You will never forget what Life did to you.
Because it shaped who you are.
But now instead of looking back.
You turn around and take a step.
And that changed everything.

The Liebster Tag!

Hey guys!! So I’ve been nominated for yet another tag! This is crazy! Anyway I was nominated by the amazingly talented rosypop. She is so awesome and you should definetly check out her blog. So anyways here’s what you do:

Rules:
1.Tag the person who nominated you and thank them.
2.Answer the 11 questions you are given.
3.Nominate 11 new bloggers and tag them.
4.Give them 11 new questions to answer.
5.Notify your nominees.

Questions:
1.What is your main goal/dream in life?

My main goal or dream would be to have a job that makes me happy and travel the world.

2.If you knew that tomorrow was your last day on Earth, what would be the last thing that you would do?

I would get everyone I love together and tell them all how much I love them. And I would eat tons of junk food of course.(:

3.Where do you see yourself in ten years?

I won’t tell you how old I will be but I’m planning on being graduated from a university and hopefully have traveled to some amazing places.

4.If you could have any pet in the world, what would it be?

I’ve always wanted a bunny but if it was something cool maybe like one of those talking parrots haha.

5.What’s your favouritest (if that’s a word) song at the moment?

I don’t really have a favorite song but I love Shawn Mendes and I love old 90’s music a lot.

6.What’s you least favourite colour?

Mustard yellow.

7.What’s your least favourite veggie?

Not sure if this is a veggie but I absolutely hate onions.

8.Why did you start your blog?

I started my blog so I could help someone out. Somewhere in the world, I want to make someone happy because of my blog. (:

9.What country would you love to visit?

I don’t have just one but Greece, France, India, London (yes I know that’s a city) and so much more.

10.What height are you?

Tall.

11.If you met Father Christmas/Santa what would you say to him? (I just couldn’t not have  a Christmas one!)

After fangirling about meeting santa, I would tell him that he is awesome and he should never retire.

So here is who I nominate:
pixiecake
DayDreamer52
surfie17
Fearlessly Loud
bluenotebookgirl
chocolatedrops
Birdree
MyIrrelevantThoughts(or Luna)
LyfWithEm
averagegirlxx
(Sorry if you have already been tagged)
And here are my questions for you:
1. If you could give someone younger than you one piece of advice, what would it be?
2. What is your passion in life?
3. What is your most embarrassing moment?
4. Who is one person you feel you can talk to about anything?
5. What country do you live in?
6. Who is your role model?
7. Name one thing that is very important to you.
8.If you got the chance to pack your bags and go on a trip around the world for 6 months right now, would you go?
9. What is your biggest fear?
10. What part of your daily routine take the longest? ( makeup, hair, outfit ect.)
11. What is your favorite blog at the moment?

Okay so there we go. If I didn’t nominate you and you want to do this, comment down below and I’ll edit you in. Oh and I feel like I need something that I say at the end of my blog. So remember to smile!! Byee xx

Little Do You Know.

Hey guys. So today’s post is a bit different. Its about something that means a lot to me and we all should realize at some point. I was going to do this like a normal post but I decided to change it up. Tell me if you like my blogging this way and if you are confused about this post then you might want to read an earlier post called A Hard Time in my Life. So here it goes:

Yes, my hair is in perfect loose curls
Yes, my white tee is perfectly tucked into my black skater skirt
Yes, my winged eyeliner is perfect today
Yes, you can see my perfectly white teeth showing through my perfect lip gloss
But what you don’t realize is,
I’m not perfect.
I’m actually far from perfect
Because,
Little do you know it took me and hour to get my hair this way
Little do you know it took me 7 tries to get my eyeliner “perfect”
Little do you know my life is terrible right now
Absolutely terrible. You know why?
No you don’t, because
Little do you know my mom is laying in her bed crying because she doesn’t know if she will ever see her kids get married
Little do you know my dad stayed up all night screaming at doctors over the phone to help save her
Little do you know I am dying on the inside
Little do you know my mom is fighting breast cancer.
Breast Cancer.
A beast that rips through your body killing every part of you.
Not only the cells in your breastbone,
But your heart, family, hopes, and about every aspect of your life.
Not so perfect is it?
Not all struggles can be seen.
People fight their greatest battles without telling anyone.
So before you judge someone.
For good or bad.
Remember.
The biggest scars aren’t on the surface.

Love Yourself.

Heyy!! So today I’m going to talk about the importance of loving yourself. No, I’m not talking about the Justin Bieber song(even though that is a great song) I’m talking about being comfortable in your own skin and being confident with your body.

“I hate myself” “Why can’t I look like her?” “Why am I so ugly?!?” These are things girls our age say on daily basis, and I think that is absolutely terrible. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve said and thought these things myself. Sometimes I just hate my body, and my personality and just myself in general. But here’s what I need to tell you. What is the point of focusing on the negatives?!? Seriously it will only make you more down, depressed, and it will only make your life worse. Somebody may seem perfect or confident or just overall amazing but I can assure you that they have looked in the mirror and not liked what they saw.

This is what I want you to do. Look in the mirror. Whether its your vanity mirror or on your phone. I don’t care, just look in the mirror and think three things you love about yourself. This may seem dumb, but seriously do it. Everyone has imperfections. Some hide them and some let them show through. Being confident in yourself is the most attractive trait you can have. So come on, keep your chin up, look the world straight in the eye and say ” I don’t care what you think, I am beautiful” Because really if you focus on every pimple (I think people in the UK call them spots)
or every bad hair day, it will only make your life worse.

I hope that helped some of you because being comfortable in your own skin takes such a big weight off of your chest. And yes I am thinking like this because I just did the Miranda Sings Award haha. But it is seriously so important and I wanted to share it with you. I hope you have an amazing day and remember to smile. Make today the day you change you change your life, if not yours, someone else’s. Byeee!!

The Miranda Sings Award!!

image

Heyy!!! Wow! Can we take a moment to recognize that I have been nominated for an award?!? This is so cool. Okay so I was nominated by Rosypop (who I absolutely love) to do this. This award was created by Claudia’s Thoughts and it’s all about complimenting and feeling good about yourself. (Hence why it is called the Miranda Sings award) Here are the rules.
-Announce your win with a post and link the blogger who nominated you.
-Include the featured image on your blog post.
-Nominate 10 bloggers (or as many as you can think of) and link your awardees in the post.
-List 7 things you love about yourself (This can be about your appearance, your personality, your achievements, etc.)
-Don’t use negative connotation. (I.e. Don’t say things like – I’m prettier than an average person or People have told me I’m smart. You ARE pretty. You ARE smart.)
So yeah this is going to be really hard but here is goes:
1. I can make others laugh easily. (One time I said something that made my friend snort ice cream from her nose from laughing)

2.I like my eyes. They are a sky blue is the winter and a brighter blue in the summer. They look very pretty with good mascara and winged eyeliner.

3. I like my long blonde hair. When I go to the beach it gets wavy and it looks gorgeous. I love it.

4. I’m not shy. I am extremely outgoing and everyone who has met me can agree.

5.I have naturally nice eyebrows. Haha this ones a little weird but its true. I don’t do anything to them and I always get compliments on them.

6. I would say I’m laid back about most things. Unless its serious but I think you get what I mean.

7.I’m healthy. I eat healthy and exersise even though I’m self conscious about my weight, I think I’m a healthy person considering my parents ate health freaks
 
Wow. That was harder than I thought. Looking back over them I probably look like the biggest California girl stereotype but whatever haha. Okay so here are the people I nominate:

bluenotebookgirl

Birdree

Personally Me Blog

feathersmiles

averagegirl2016

pixiecake

vintagesmiles25

Enigma

DayDreamer52

I know that’s only 9 but it’s all I can think of who haven’t already been nominated. But if you are reading this and I didn’t nominate you then go ahead and do it. Byeee!!